The Week at FTP: FTOPS, FTOPS, FTOPS

Posted by One Angry Monkey | Filed under The Week at FTP

Ah FTOPS – it’s like Christmas for degenerates. And Christmas comes four times a year. And instead of getting some crappy sweater-vest and a book on how to be a better man from your girlfriend, you get the chance to win hundreds of thousands of dollars playing in a donkament. The only thing that’s missing is the eggnog.

So in lieu of Big Donkey giving you The Week at FTP, I’ll be giving you the rundown on the first nine amazing FTOPS VIII events. We’ve had some good laughs so far, shed some salty tears, and ingested many cans of Coke Zero in an attempt to bring you all things FTOPS. Here are the highlights thus far:

Winning isn’t everything, but losing is for losers.

Here’s to all nine of our FTOPS winners so far – congratulations on a job well done. May you use your newfound pocket change to buy a little piece of happiness for yourselves, or at least avoid donking off all your winnings to Phil Ivey on the high-stakes tables. In no particular order, here are the winners and their winnings from events one through nine:

Event #1: the guru 11 - $158,852.23

Event #2: whothedonk - $48,150

Event #3: BOP B 3AKOHE 1 - $76,545

Event #4: EMSBas - $48,420

Event #5: voguepergola - $27,735

Event #6: mmmadd - $68,477.50

Event #7: jornx - $102,249.50

Event #8: GoToChurch - $51,200

Event #9: _FlaXmar Z_ - $263,438.04

Is a shootout really a shootout if there are no guns involved?

The arrival of FTOPS VIII has surprisingly coincided with the launch of our new shootout tournament feature. We’ve had two FTOPS shootout tourneys so far – Event #3 was a 3X full table shootout that maxed out at 729 players. That meant that the winner had to take down three full tables in a row to win the top prize.

Event #8 was a heads-up shootout with 512 players in the running, meaning the winner had to take down nine heads-up matches to capture the crown. If you want to get in on all the excitement that shootout tourney action has to offer, we still have one more FTOPS shootout on the schedule – look for Event #17 on Thursday, May 15^th at 14:00 ET. And please people; leave your guns at home. Remember that guns don’t kill people, coolers do…

What’s in a screen name?

A screen name can say a lot about what kind of player you are. With that in mind, I’d like to take the time to point out a couple of the winning screen names so far. I mean, is anybody surprised that a player named whothedonk took down Event #2, a PLO KO tourney? PLO is the game of donk champions, and when you add the knockout factor into that mix you better watch out. That’s what we call suck out city, baby! (Pardon me; I seem to have channelled Dick Vitale momentarily.)

In other surprising news, Event #9 (a HU shootout tourney) was won by a player named GoToChurch. That one seems spot on, as you’d have to do a lot of praying to win nine straight heads-up matches. I’m not a religious person, but I might have to sign up at the Church of Jerry Yang if it means that I might someday win myself a donkament of such prolific proportions.

I saw red.

To all the Full Tilt Pros out there, keep up the good work. Being highlighted in red makes you a target to every donk near and far, especially with that extra bounty placed upon your cartoon avatar heads. But it should come as no surprise that the pros are making a strong showing at this FTOPS. We have yet to have a repeat of the feat Erick Lindgren pulled off in FTOPS VII when he won his own event, but we’ve got plenty of events to go.

Speaking of E-Dog, he’s having another strong run this FTOPS, as he’s had the highest pro finish in two of the nine events thus far. But the title of pro MVP so far has got to be Scott Fischman. The Fish Tank has had three top pro finishes so far and is ranked 10^th on the FTOPS VIII Leaderboard. Hey, maybe he’ll win a custom avatar. Oh wait, he already has one. That sucks for him.

We’ve only had one pro make a final table so far, as Berry Johnston took fourth in Event #4, a Stud Hi/Lo tourney. They say that Stud is an old man’s game, and I guess they’re right (whoever the hell they may be). I’m not saying that Johnston is old, but rumor has it he was playing cards with Doc Holliday back in the day. I joke, I joke, I kid, I kid. Johnston is one of the classier players remaining in the game today, a throwback to the old school when playing cards was done properly. Congrats on a great run, Berry.

Congratulations, you’ve won a free entry into the Bouncebackability Freeroll!

To all the bubble boys out there – ouch, I’m sorry man. There’s no way to take the sting out of just missing the money in a major tourney such as the ones we provide during FTOPS. On the bright side, you do get to play in the Bouncebackability Freeroll for a shot at winning a seat to this year’s WSOP Main Event. So you’ve got that going for you. Here’s the list of all the awe inspiring bubble boys, we feel your pain:

Event #1: CrazyMonkey13 (no relation to One Angry Monkey, thank god)

Event #2: skjervoy

Event #3: todaywewin (then again, there’s always tomorrow)

Event #4: Fluke_2001

Event #5: KCBlitzz

Event #6: 1sneaky (but not sneaky enough)

Event #7: Stuart Patterson (a pro as bubble boy, inconceivable!)

Event # 8: 2mints

Event #9: CHARLES OAKLEY (my all time favorite Knick, a man with elbows so sharp they could poke your eyes out)

My pimp hand is strong.

One final note as I do my corporate duty for the day. We’ve put together some pretty cool video highlights from each FTOPS final table with commentary by Poker After Dark’s Ali Nejad. Check them out if you want to see all the action for yourself.

That’s it for now, I’ll be back on Thursday with some more FTOPS related madness, so be sure to check back then. As for me, I’m back to daydreaming about having enough money to buy-in to tonight’s $1K NLH tourney, but let’s get real – that ain’t never gonna happen. I’ll now be crying myself to sleep on my extra large pillow…

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